Bad Things
by lori-la-strange
Summary: Something very very bad attacks Arthur. And that is only the beginning... Dark and sexy story containing M/A, blood, obsession and - whisper it! - vampires.
1. Chapter 1

****

A bit of a clichéd concept but I make no apologies! This idea wouldn't leave my head...

* * *

_So this is it._

_Use magic or not? Save him, or not?_

_Come on, there was never really a choice was there?_

_With all my powers, I could never have seen this. I never could have predicted that this man - this prat - would become someone I would give my life for. But I would._

_And now I must._

_To save his._

* * *

The thing was attacking Arthur.

It's funny how your mind can go into shock. How it can shut down, make time slow - literally in my case. It just came from nowhere. That's my excuse anyway.

We were hunting in the forests surrounding Camelot castle. Well, Arthur was hunting. I had the pleasure stumbling along, carrying an assortment of weapons that Prince not-so Charming had decided to throw at me.

"Merlin, you idiot!"

Can you _feel _the love?

"I'm sorry; I haven't grown a third arm yet." I grumbled sarcastically, scooping up the crossbow I had just dropped. "Why don't you just load me up like a horse while I chew on a bale of hay?"

"Don't tempt me." He whispered darkly, moving at a speed that was swift yet quiet through the dense woods. Maybe I could match it if I wasn't carrying enough weapons to equip an army. Talk about overkill...

He stops suddenly in the underbrush and a collision is narrowly avoided (he'd _love _that).

"There's something over there." He says, gesturing vaguely towards the darker part of the forest. A thick layer of trees almost completely blocks out the sunlight.

"I knew you'd say that." I sigh. "Any chance you'd like to join up with the rest of the knights instead of walking into... _The Darkness_?"

I try to sound like I'm joking, deepening my voice to a dramatic exclamation. I aim for spooky, but manage idiotic.

Arthur turns and faces me briefly looking almost pained by my stupidity. He's trying not to smile though - score!

"Shut up and keep up." He orders, moving towards_ The Darkness_. This is always a good sign...

"Yes Sire." I mutter 'prat' under my breath for good measure.

"Heard that."

"Good!"

We move cautiously towards the thickening canopy.

"What did you see anyway?"

"The creature you most likely scared away with your everlasting gob." He hisses. Touchy.

"I just thought it might help if I knew what we're facing. You know, in case of a mauling."

"Don't be so dramatic _Mer_lin."

He emphasises the first syllable of my name again and now I suppress a smile. That used to be annoying but now it's just... Arthur.

Visibility is now startlingly poor. Why would he think this is a good idea exactly? I shiver in my coarse brown jacket. When did it get so dark? But that's not all. It's so - I struggle to find the right word... Empty. Yet it isn't, something's there. But I can no longer hear the scampering of small creatures, or the caw of any birds. Even the leaves have stopped crunching beneath our very feet. How can that be possible?

"Arthur?" I whisper, mouth suddenly too dry.

"What?"

"I think we should get out of here."

"A little darkness never hurt anyone _Mer_lin." Okay, now it's annoying. "I think it was a giant boar. That'll impress... everyone."

Uther he means, which is so typical. And if that's a boar lurking nearby, I'll eat my scarf. It feels too wrong. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle and I just know that whatever we were following, is now following us.

"Will you just listen to me?" I grab his arm and spin him to face me, dropping the weapons in the process.

"It's hard not to!" He shouts, "Pick them up!"

A shrill giggle interrupts me before I can begin to protest.

"And now you're laughing?" Arthur sounds pretty angry, but I don't care. How can he be so ignorant?

"Not me..." I answer with a shiver. I can feel eyes, watching us, examining with a sinister interest. Behind me. I freeze; it doesn't know I'm onto it. I think.

Twigs snap, impossibly loud in this silence. I can actually hear Arthur's heartbeat and breathing. I move closer to the sound, temporarily relishing it, tense and alert.

"Who's there?" Arthur calls out rather pompously. I guess it knows we're onto it now.

Another stifled laugh. There's cruelty hidden beneath all that good humour. I don't think we want to meet it.

"Arthur, let's run." My voice comes out firmly which is a surprise because I've never been so close to a blind panic. But can you blame me? It feels... Evil.

"Someone's playing a prank on us and you want to run away?" He scoffs. I can make out the dim outline of his face.

I press my hands against both of his arms softly, but they tremble a little. I don't know if he can see that. I then say one word. A gentle plea which cannot hide the cold fear threatening to take me over because I can almost touch the thing's mind. It's happy. Sickeningly happy and I don't know why.

It's also _so _hungry.

"_Please._"

"Okay." I freeze in shock from his sudden agreement as he brushes past me, meaning to go back the way we came. He takes my hand in his. No questions or protests. "Come on then." He tugs gently and my legs move towards the sound of his voice without thinking. It was because he trusted me. And because I'd follow him into hell if I had to. Which we just might be doing.

I suddenly remember that _It _is behind us. It doubled back. And It is oh-so pleased to see us. Shafts of light now penetrate the forest and I see Arthur's face, looking back at mine in concern. Then I see It.

"Arthur! No!" I expect some quip about making my mind up but instead the dark shape blurs in front us - no it comes right at us.

No, right at _Arthur._

His hand is violently torn from mine. Arthur cries out in horror and surprise. He doesn't even draw his sword as he falls back. Onto the forest floor.

Something lands _on _him.

"ARTHUR!" It's making the most horrible rasping sounds deep in the back of its throat, slobbering, hissing, growling... It's somehow also laughing, all at the same time. I think I'll go mad if I have to listen to that sound much longer. Then Arthur cries out to me.

__

"Get it off me!"

This is when time slows for me, and I can see the dark shape that knocked Arthur over. It's hungry and thrashing, a wild thing going for his neck with extended fangs. In dirt strewn sack robe streaked with gore - brown, black and - worst of all - crimson.

It's a woman.

It's not human.

It's wrong. It's hideous yet has a terrible beauty at the same time. Wild red waves of hair cascade down its shapely, strong body. She's hypnotic. I can't move. I can't tear my eyes away. Then I see the claws. It has thick black claws at the end of its fingers, pinning Arthur's arms back.

I snap out of my trance. Moving at a great speed through a haze of panic, I can hear Arthur's desperate screams and I know he's no longer struggling to hold the thing back, it's now actually hurting him as It buries its face in his neck.

"_Merlin_!" His cry is horrifying, filled with desperate pain. He chokes.

I dive at the thing, intending to knock her/it off of him. It flicks its hand up almost lazily and swats me away as if I were an insect. It barely touched me but I feel cold and sick from the tiniest contact. I am blown back beside them, landing on my back, head hitting the floor hard. I see stars. So it has magic. To throw me with such force without really touching me... It must have.

Arthur screams and the stars instantly clear. They no longer matter.

I shakily find my feet and it looks at me for a second, eyes locking. Its eyes are a shocking violet and they _burn_. They are filled with such hate and sick humour, as if it were saying 'don't interrupt my meal.' Maybe it is.

Its mouth is bloody.

"Nooooooo!" I scream it with all my might, horrified at the sight of that wicked smile, covered in my friend's blood. The creature is now the one to be blasted back as I feel invisible shards of energy flow from me into it - no, it bursts from me so violently that _I _almost fall. It lets out a terrible scream of pain and flees, rags flowing behind it like smoke, feet seeming to only just skim the ground as it retreats with a frightening speed.

I sway on my feet; body completely drained but manage to stagger towards my Arthur where he lies, completely still.

__

He cannot be dead. Do not be dead. I won't let you. You're the other half of me. Let him be alright, dear God let him be alright...

I barely notice I'm saying the words out loud.

I drop to my knees beside him and find that his eyes are blazing. His face is covered in sweat and he shudders uncontrollably. He's splattered with his own blood.

"You're gonna be okay." I say it with more certainty than I feel because his neck is drenched with scarlet blood. I pull of my coat and press it against the wound. "It's not that bad, not that bad..." I repeat it more for me than him. It is bad. It is.

His eyes are so wide as if they were still seeing the horror above him. I glance back just in case but I know she's gone. I feel it.

His eyes lock with mine and he tries to mouth something to me. But I hush him, consumed by guilt and helplessness. His wet hands grasp at mine, I try not to cry.

Then his feverish eyes roll back into his head as he faints dead away. I scream.

"Somebody help me!"

* * *

**Feedback is always appreciated, let me know if you want me to continue.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to those who showed an interest. This is for you :)**

* * *

Life can be a surreal blur sometimes. It's like time never runs in a single consistent speed.

I remember shouting until my throat was raw, praying that the right someone would find us.

I remember feeling too scared to be relieved when Sir Leon and the other knights appeared in the clearing.

I remember their confused looks filled with silent accusations, and babbling rubbish in response to their endless questions.

I was so scared. For him. Terrified he would die as they lifted on to his horse, his body limp and barely breathing. My hands were soaked in his blood. I remember it all too clearly.

* * *

"Fortunately his wounds were not life threatening. He most likely won't even have a scar." Gaius concludes, having just come back from Arthur's bedside.

I am sat hunched over Gaius' work bench, head in my arms but this makes me jerk up straight.

"What?" I splutter.

Gaius looks at me with a confused and slightly peeved expression. "Do you have a problem with that assessment Merlin?"

I blink at him, utterly confuted. I see the blood gushing from the gash in his throat as they drag me away from him when we arrive at the castle.

"There is no way - _no way - _his wounds were that light," I insist, now on my feet.

"I didn't even need to cauterise it."

"That's impossible!" I burst out.

"I beg your pardon?" Uh oh. He sounds angry.

"I just mean, the thing hurt him really badly. Really badly Gaius." I approach him, looking into his eyes. "You have to believe me."

"Actually, I do." He sighs. "If it weren't for the knight's testimonies and the way you look now, I would not believe it."

"They saw him bleeding too." I mutter glancing at my blood soaked hands.

"Indeed." He nods. "I assumed you had something to do with his recovery."

"Me?" I reply, a picture of innocence. "You know, not every spell around here comes from me."

I suddenly feel waves of relief wash through me, despite my outrage and confusion. He's going to be alright. Thank goodness... I feel a twinge of guilt that I know will only grow. Maybe I _should _have used magic to heal him. I didn't think it was possible to feel worse than I did before - so useless and helpless. I have to blink rapidly and swallow hard. If I didn't heal him, who did?

"...so we must identify it right now don't you agree?"

"Huh?"

"Glad to see I've got your undivided attention Merlin."

"I'm sorry." I sigh, shaking my head to stop the tears. Crying won't help Arthur. I remember the way he took my hand, and have to chase the image away. "I'm distracted."

"It's understandable." He says comfortingly, placing his hand on my shoulder. "But the King has ordered that we identify the creature that did this to him and destroy it."

I give him a tired smile. "And we will."

"Describe this creature to me in detail then."

"Actually I need to go and see Arth-"

"Sit!" He can be scary when he's like this. On the case, books primed and ready. He steers me towards the bench and shoves me into a sitting position by the shoulders.

"Ouch!"

"Speak."

"Yes sir!" I bark, a feeble attempt at humour. Then I think of where to start as he gives me an unimpressed look, arms folded across his chest. I can feel the smile slide off my face as I begin.

"It was... terrible."

"It?" He questions.

"Well, more of a she I guess." I correct, hesitating. "She had red hair, and huge black claws... She was strong - possibly magical." I add, remembering the way I was thrown. How drained and weak I felt. I tell Gaius this and he nods looking concerned.

"And she attacked you, just like that?" He prompted.

I frown in concentration, shuddering at the memory. "No. First we went into the darker parts of the forest. Arthur thought we were following a boar or something. But it wasn't. I knew it wasn't but he wouldn't listen. Then she managed to follow _us_."

"How did you know this?" He asked gently.

I swallowed, feeling cold. "I could feel her presence. She was so greedy. So greedy, filled with hate and so... Happy. She kept laughing." I shiver and clench my fists, not in fear, but in anger.

I know I'm not saying this right but Gaius' eyes light up with understanding. "Arthur didn't notice her?"

I shake my head. "He didn't notice how quiet it went either. It was like all the wildlife had been scared away."

He nods and I actually find this irritating. Of course he doesn't understand. How could he know what it felt like to see someone you - "Then what?" he interrupts my train of thoughts.

"She flew at Arthur. Then she..." I gestured at my neck, unable to voice it. Seeing it first hand was bad enough. Gaius blurs and doubles.

"It's okay. He's okay. You did well." Gaius puts his arm around me and only then do I realise I'm crying.

"Yes eventually." I answer bitterly. "He could have died in the time it took me to do something."

He brushes my tears away in a father-like motion. "That would never have happened." He emphasises each word. There's a moment of respectful silence before his questions continue. I suddenly feel so weary. "So she was in the dark, drinks blood, had claws, fangs, and she flew... Anything else I should know?"

I remembered the shape of her body, the way I couldn't tear my eyes away while she attacked my friend. I suddenly feel ashamed and very embarrassed - I can't tell him that. "No nothing." I blush, and hastily add: "She was very fast - and strong. But my magic scared her away." This was to ease my guilt.

"Good, good. I can use this." He's already rifling through his worn down books, in his element. It raises the ghost of a smile on my lips as I feel a rush of love for him. If anyone can name the creature, it's Gaius. Reliable, wise, clever and comforting. I had no right to feel angry with him before. No right at all.

"I'm going to see Arthur now." I announce, getting to my feet.

He briefly looks up but his features are etched with concern. "Are you sure? I think he's resting, maybe it would be wise for you to do the same?"

"I have to see him Gaius." I reply softly.

"You really do don't you?" We both know there's no question about it. "Go on then, but not for too long. You look dead on your feet."

I smile and move towards the door, pausing only when I realised how perfectly that description fit the creature.

__

Dead on your feet...

I shiver before moving on.

* * *

Pain. It's all I feel. It burns like fire and stings like ice...

I hear him scream my name. He calls out in horror and I wish I could get to him. If I could reach him, I'll somehow be alright. It's a ridiculous idea because it's _Merlin_. But I need him nonetheless. He makes me better. This makes no sense but I know it's true. Somehow I've known what he is to me all along...

I want to tell him to run. To get away from It. It's draining the life from me. I can't breathe through the hot raw pain in my throat, the sickening weight of Its body on mine. I hear him cry out in fury. It's shocking in its almost righteous anger. I must be dreaming because it cannot be coming from Merlin. The unbearable pressure is lifted - no, blasted - off of me and It cries out in pain. I feel a wave of warm energy pass over me simultaneously. It feels so good and right. Beautiful and pure... No wonder It screams in pain. No wonder it runs away.

Then he is there, like he always is. He'll save me, he'll help me.

He presses his coat against my neck. It doesn't even hurt. It's Merlin's touch. I grasp at his hands, wanting to let him know. To tell him what he means to me, but also to warn him. To scream at him to get away. No words come out. His touch is so warm. I'm so tired, so... something else that cannot be named. It's too awful. I see his beautiful face crumple in sorrow. I hear him scream for help. Then I see no more.

I didn't want to warn him about It. It was gone. It can't touch Merlin.

I needed to warn him about _me_.

* * *

"Sire?" I cautiously peek around his door. As soon as I see that the king isn't here, I drop the formalities. "Arthur!"

I burst through the door. And rush over to him. He's perched on the side of his bed, back facing me. I can see the back of his tousled blond hair. A smile spreads across my face - I can feel it.

"Hey." I say gently, relief washing through me. "You should be in bed."

I touch his shoulder and he jerks away.

"Get away from me."

He moves so fast into the corner that I'm taken aback.

"Woah I'm sorry." I back away a little feeling hurt. Maybe he's angry? He didn't want me to touch him... I feel sad. It washes through me but I know I deserve it.

"Arthur I'm so sor-"

"Not your fault." his voice is dry and cold. It's a wonder he can talk at all. His chest is bare, as he stands in the corner, a bandage wrapped around his neck. It's like he cannot even bare to look at me.

"Are you alright?" I edge closer, trying not to let the hurt show in my voice. "Should I get Gaius?"

"No. Don't." His order is harsh and I'm taken aback by it.

I don't know what to say. What to do. I feel panic rising again. Does he know I'm a sorcerer? Is that it? Or does he know I took so long to help him? Does he blame me?

"Arthur...?"

I touch his cold shoulder again, needing to make this better. He flinches and spins around in a flash, grabbing me. I almost fall over backwards, taking us both with me.

"What are you-?"

I break off in confusion, as his hands lock behind my neck, like we're in some weird embrace. His eyes are wild as they meet mine with a blazing curiosity, head quirked inquisitively to one side. It's not Arthur… Is it? I see a hint of steely purple in his normally clear, blue eyes. Oh no...

His hands are freezing, but they scorch the back of my neck at the same time. And then he...

He buries his face against my throat.

"Arthur!" I choke in surprise. He's running his hands along my neck, not hard enough to strangle, but worrying all the same. I try to push him off, but my hands against his bare chest feels so intimate, too encouraging. I let them drop back to my sides, trying not to touch him.

"Sssssh..." His voice sounds like a sensual purr and I find I am rooted to the spot because of it. He won't hurt me. This is _Arthur_. It's a prank. Must be. He won't tear my neck open like she did... But the startling image is persistent and I'm suddenly terrified.

"Please don't..." I whisper as he breathes in deeply, tickling my skin with his hot breath so that I shiver, feeling a wave of heat. The rest the words die in my mouth and my legs weaken.

He makes me weak.

He hushes me again, hands now roaming down my back, then my chest. I sway woozily against him, feeling breathless. His own respiration quickens, hot breath damp against my pulse. I suddenly feel like dinner, but I still can't pull away.

"Ahhh Arthur stop..." But my words carry little authority. What is happening to me?

His lips graze my neck softly right where the blood beats fast - and right now it's beating very very fast and he knows it. I feel his lips curve in a smile as he inhales once more, deeply, leaning against me - _pressing _his hot weight against me. He exhales shakily and one hand grips my hip, the other tangles its fingers in my hair that flows against the back of my neck, pressing me against his mouth.

"You smell so..." His husky voice trails off but I'm willing to bet he was thinking something positive. I feel a slight wetness against my neck which actually makes me feel giddy... Then my mind finally wakes up.

__

He licked me.

"Aaah too weird!" I shove him away with an effort. He staggers backwards before finding his feet. He blinks a few times in confusion and those crystal eyes are back to their original blue again.

"Um hi Merlin. You finally dropped by then?" He asks casually before sliding back into bed.

"Uh yeah!" I burst out sarcastically. "What is the matter with you? I'm not a piece of meat you know!"

His eyebrows raise half amused, half confused. "Er, well observed Merlin. I'm feeling fine by the way, thanks for not asking."

"I don't think you're fine, you're not acting fine at all!" I gibber nervously, earning another look of confusion.

"Well I did just get mauled Merlin."

"That makes two of us!"

"You're not making any sense."

"_I'm _not making sense?" My voice is getting squeakier, and he's looking more pompous than _ever_. "You're telling me you honestly don't remember what just happened?"

"Did you hit your head Merlin?" He scoffs and frowns at my stunned expression. "Well, what did just happen then?"

My face floods with colour. There's no way I'm telling him _that_.

"Nothing." I clear my throat. "I'm glad you're okay. You are okay right?"

I peer nervously at his face, looking for protruding fangs or violet eyes. I try not to stare at his lips. The memory of where they just were makes me want to combust.

"Do I have something on my face?" He does not sound amused.

"Uh no. Why?" Innocent smile, innocent smile…

"Because your eyes are darting about like a nervous turkey." He drawls, unimpressed.

I laugh a little too heartily, "Good one! Well I'll let you rest then." I scurry out of the room, dignity barely intact, looking pretty bizarre as I was walking backwards. As if was going to turn my back on him again! "Is there anything I can get you?" I ask, merely a routine question.

His face clouds over for a second before he answers, "Actually, I am feeling pretty hungry."

I leg it from the room without looking back.

* * *

**Reviews are greatly appreciated :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Although the idea of historically accurate vampires sounds ridiculous, I've spelt it the old English way! **

**Here's another update for you as I'm becoming addicted to it. I hope you are too.**

* * *

"Merlin, are you alright?"

"Fine Gaius, just fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? What's with all the questions anyway?"

"Merlin?"

"Yes?"

"You're going to tear that book apart."

I realise what I'm doing and stop immediately. I was turning the pages so rapidly and with such force that they crackled. I wasn't taking a single word in when I was supposed to be researching nocturnal, blood-drinking, bad-ass mamas.

"Oh right. Sorry." I give him a distracted grin which just doesn't cut it with an unconvinced Gaius.

"What is the matter with you?"

We stare at each other across his book strewn table in silence for a few minutes. He begins to frown. Then he clenches his jaw. Then he sighs, folding his arms. The suspicious glare intensifies...

"Fine!" I cry out, a little dramatically. Then I decide to lower my voice and pitch. "There's something wrong with Arthur."

Why does everyone keep looking at me like I'm the crazy one? I don't make stinky potions or live in the land of books (well I try not to). I also don't go around smelling people in an overly intimate manner either so _why_?

__

Anyway

...

"Of course there's something wrong. He's recovering from a nasty shock." Gaius answers reasonably enough, blissfully unaware of my ranting mind.

"That's not what I mean. He's acting weird." I rub my eyes, exhausted from all this drama. A week off is all I ask. That's all. Just one week.

"Weird? How so?" Gaius enquires.

Why me?

"He..." I hesitate, "Well he -"

"Spit it out then."

I gabble it in a rush. "He sniffed me."

There's another awkward silence before Gaius answers dryly, "Oh you poor thing."

"Gaius this isn't funny." I frown at the twinkle in his eyes.

"I'm not laughing. Maybe you do smell a little ripe. It's been a long day and-"

"Gaius I do not smell!" I'm getting all het up so I backtrack a little. "That's not even the issue here."

"Then what is?"

How do I even possibly begin to answer that, when it confuses me so much? There was that hungry light in his eyes as he pulled me close, the way his body moved against mine... I fidget uncomfortably. He should not be able to make me feel so -

"Well Merlin?" He's sounding impatient now. I blush.

"I jumped me," His mouth falls open. "Sort of - but not in a sexual way!" I add hastily, face aflame. "It was like he was smelling my blood."

"Like the creature?"

"He was really strong." I agree, nodding, barely hearing him. "And his eyes looked just like hers. Gaius, I thought he was going to..."

I can't finish that sentence. I just let Gaius assume that I meant 'bite me'. He might have, but that look in his eyes... I shiver at the memory, trying not to label it as raw desire.

"Okay calm down Merlin." He wanders over to me and pats my shoulder distractedly. "You said this thing bit him. Maybe it transferred some of its - ahem - cravings over to him."

"Maybe." I'm not so sure it was _exactly _the same. But then I remember how hypnotic she was and compare it to Arthur. "Yes, you're right, of course you're right."

"Okay, how did you leave things with him?"

"What do you think I did? I shoved him away and got the heck out of there!"

"He didn't pursue you?" I glance over my shoulder, force of habit.

"Hope not," then I shake my head. "It wasn't like that anyway. It was like he forgot what had happened when I shoved him away."

"Interesting..." He peers at my face though his mind is far away.

"No, not 'interesting' Gaius! It's not a science experiment." I cry, "We have to help him. We can't have him smelling all the Ladies in Waiting!"

Gaius actually snorts at this. I'm really not trying to be funny either. This is serious. He could have torn my throat out. He would be perfectly capable, since I just stood there. Again. Like I actually wanted him to do _something_.

"Merlin, you are alright aren't you? He didn't hurt you?" His concern makes me want to cry. It's like he knows I'm holding something back. "Maybe he won't attack anyone else. He could have been drawn to your magic. Or maybe the change isn't permanent..."

I jerk away from him, finding my feet. "Are you saying that thing could have been drawn to us in the forest, because of _me_?"

__

His hand is torn from mine. Arthur falls...

"It is possible. Creatures of magic are naturally drawn to those who possess it." He clearly hasn't noticed my distress.

__

His hand is torn from mine. Arthur falls. He falls because of me.

I feel sick.

"No that can't be right." I whisper, shaking my head in denial. "It went straight for Arthur remember?" I swallow the lump in my throat, feeling confident that it couldn't have been me that drew It there. She/It lured Arthur. It doubled back and could have taken me at any time...

Then I realise something terrible. My expression of horror and desperate denial is mirrored on Gaius' face.

"Maybe it -"

"Don't say it." I plead without much force.

He give me a sympathetic look. "She was scared off so easily like -"

"She wanted him to survive." I continue through numb lips.

Gaius pushes on without mercy. "So maybe it attacked Arthur, because it wanted to infect the heir of Camelot."

I know it's true before he can voice it.

"I think we're dealing with a vampyr." he says, pointing at a graphically bloody sketch within one of his books of a naked woman. She is magnificent yet terrible, holding the dripping head of a victim in triumph. I judge the artist though it looks right to me.

And I also knew that if it is true, Arthur was going to become a _lot _worse.

"What do we do?" I ask, feeling sick as I read the accompanying description. It has it all: the fangs, claws, eyes, strength, aversion to sunlight, cravings for blood among other things. It also mentions the spell binding effect they have on their victims. The way they can either strike in an instant, or make their prey burn with desire for them. It is apparently a feeling that becomes mutual and stronger as time goes by. I hastily look away.

I do _not _want Arthur.

"We must inform the King." Says Gaius. I snap out of my disturbing train of thoughts.

"Why? So he can send the Knights out to be slaughtered?" I protest feeling nauseous.

Gaius looks shocked at my outburst. "I was thinking more along the lines of him isolating Arthur."

My jaw drops a little. "You want to tell him his son is turning into a vampyr? You know what he's like, he'll never believe you."

"We have to try." Gaius insists, "He's already showing signs of infection, do you want him to hurt someone else?"

I sag in defeat. I've always hating arguing with Gaius.

"He was fine when I left him." I add weakly. "Maybe we're overreacting."

"For his sake, let's hope it is so."

* * *

We decided to examine him one last time, to be safe. No need to tell the stock-friendly king his son's becoming an evil creature of magic until we're absolutely sure.

"Arthur?" I poke my head around the door timidly, clutching a bowl of warm water. It's now night time and I can see an Arthur shaped lump under the covers. I turn and shrug at Gaius. it would be wrong to wake him surely. We wait a minute but then...

"Oh for goodness sake Merlin, can't a guy get some sleep around here without being disturbed by an idiot?"

I smile a little at that familiar tone of voice, "Why do you talk in your sleep?"

It's a lame come back but give me a break. It's been a long day.

"And it's not just one idiot I'm afraid." Gaius adds, nudging me out of the way as he slopes into the room. I'm glad he's going in first. Maybe I can use him as a shield...

"Oh sorry Gaius, didn't see you there." He sits up in bed. "Well don't just stand there Merlin, you're letting the cold air in."

I reluctantly move closer after shutting the door behind me.

"What can I do for you at this charming hour?" He drawls, sounding sleepy. I see his ruffled bed head and smile more broadly. There's no way he's been out cavorting with blood-sucking demons.

Right?

"I just have to change your bandages sire." He pulls out sheets of cloth and a bottle of healing balm. The same remedy he added before with a little something else. This could be dangerous but Arthur nods willingly enough. My heart beats faster...

The prince's sleepy eyes clear suddenly and fix on mine intensely. My mouth goes dry but when Gaius lights the candle I can see his eyes are their usual shade of blue. They're still fixed on me though.

"What?" I ask, voice sounding calmer than I feel.

"You look nervous. I can hear your... never mind." He replies, sounding uncertain as he gaze swivels away. Gaius and I exchange a worried glance.

"Sire, are you feeling alright?" Gaius sounds wary now.

"Fine. Just get on with it." He sounds snappy which is nothing new to me but to Gaius... he's always shown him the respect he deserves. As if he read my thoughts he hastily adds, "Sorry. I've just got a bit of a headache is all."

"I can bring you a tonic if you wish."

"No, it's okay. I just need to rest." He replies graciously.

We both gather around him and hold our breath as Gaius peels back the cloth that's already bound against his neck. Would his wound even be there anymore? A part of me really doubted it.

The cut is still there. I exhale violently, feeling relieved. It is a feeling that disappears when I really see his injury.

It's an angry red gash against the pale skin of his smooth throat, but it looks days old. No maybe weeks. It's healed over, the skin looking puckered and sore. Looking at it makes me feel funny. I'm outraged that something could do this to him of course but I also... It also makes me want to touch it, to gently trace it with the tip of my finger. Would it even hurt him if I did? Would it feel hot or cold?

I realise he's staring at me again and it brings me to my senses. What a strange thing to think of...

It's happening again.

"Gaius maybe _you _could go and get me that tonic." Arthur's usual drawl sounds strangely sly.

I won't look at his eyes. I see Gaius instead, and his eyes are narrowed. He's no fool.

"No you were quite right my lord. You just need some rest." Gaius answers as I pass him the bowl of warm water so he can clean Arthur's wound. It seems pointless now but maybe we should keep up the pretence.

When Gaius leans in I stiffen and want to scream at him to get away, but my fears are unfounded. Arthur doesn't want him.

"Merlin tells me you've been acting a bit out of character lately." I feel like I've been punched in the gut. Gaius asks him that _now_? When he's leaning so close to him, dabbing the already closed cut with a soaked cloth?

Gaius does not see the look he gives me as he tends his injury.

"Well I feel really good." His voice is soft yet playful with an undertone of danger and he gives me a look that can only be described as predatory. His eyes are excited, tinged with that foreign colour. It's like he's taunting me, he can sense my concern for Gaius but it's not just that. He said it like he was describing himself physically as opposed to emotionally. All for my benefit of course. Great. I swallow - hard.

"I think we should let him sleep now." I say firmly, not taking my eyes away from Arthur's as I tug Gaius' arm.

"But I need to apply the balm." He emphasises it, reminding me of our plan. The whole reason for enduring this torture in the first place. He dabs at Arthur's neck - why doesn't he look at his face? - and I feel an insane mixture of fear and jealousy. He gets to touch him...I shake the feeling away. How do I tell him we don't need the plan anymore? I know Arthur's still infected. I can feel it. It's getting stronger too. I can feel his essence my mind. His throbbing need, his hunger and deep down, his confusion.

I have to help him.

"Let's go. That stuff stinks and he's healing well already."

They both look at me with confusion and I see the shadow of my best friend lurking beneath this alien infection. He licks his lips and smiles. He thinks I'm fascinating. I hear that one thought clearly amongst a snarl of others. They're filled with lust, and rage, confusion and fear. And he's so hungry.

I need him to trust me either way. I look at him and uncork the bottle of salve deliberately emphasising my next words.

"You hate this stuff don't you Arthur? It has way too much garlic in it."

I only move it a little closer to him but his reaction is shocking. He snatches it out of my hand looking horrified. We both jump back as he hurls it against the wall opposite with impressive force, looking pained and livid. It shatters and he covers his mouth, drawn and ill.

"Get out of here!" He roars and is out of bed and pacing manically before we can even register he's moved.

"Arthur!"

"Sire-"

"Just go!" He shouts, actually shaking. "And get rid of that!"

He indicates the shattered glass as if we had thrown it. His instructions are slightly contradictory but I move towards the mess, meaning to scoop it up despite the jagged shards of glass. I have to get it away from him.

"Merlin no, we have to go!" Gaius drags me out of the room, but he doesn't _understand_.

"I have to help him!" I yell, tears streaming down my face because I can actually feel what he feels. The scent is unbearable. It's choking me/him. It's like nothing I've ever encountered. If it touches me/him it will surely burn right through me/him. That's not the worst thing though. He doesn't know what's happening to him. He doesn't know why he's feeling this way. Why he's so hungry and desperate and lonely and different and...

"Merlin snap out of it!" Gaius actually shakes me with force and I realise I'm saying this out loud. I nod and breathe deeply, wiping my streaming eyes.

"He's changing." I whisper as he drags me towards familiar territory - the King's quarters.

"I know. And I won't let him take you with him." Gaius replies firmly and I despair.

I despair because I know I'd let him.


	4. Chapter 4

********

This is a quick chapter for all you lovely reviewers. There's a question at the end I need answering before I continue...

* * *

"This is absolutely preposterous." King Uther scoffs and I struggle not to roll my eyes.

For some reason, I feel like saying I told you so. Can't imagine why.

"I checked on Arthur myself. He's fine and merely resting." Uther continues, making me snort a little. Luckily I cover it with a little cough and which is ignored.

Gaius stands humbly before the King on his throne (at this hour, the ego maniac). A handful of Knights surround us, summoned to the hall by the Uther to hear of this important news concerning the creatures.

It did not go down well when we told him his son is one of them.

Well actually, I tell a lie. They laughed. Then they laughed some more. Then Uther got annoyed when brave Gaius wouldn't back down.

Then he brought me into it.

"Merlin has seen his eyes change twice. Then there was his reaction to garlic. Vampires cannot stand it. And his personality has become..." he struggled to find the right words. Who wouldn't? "Um, shall we say, rambunctious."

Uther's eyebrows raise and he suddenly looks extremely fearsome.

"You base these wild accusations against your Crowned Prince on the words of a servant?" He stands up, hands clenched by his side. "Gaius, you should know better."

I step forward feeling outraged but Gaius grasps my arm in a vice-like manner before I can even open my mouth.

Gaius bows his head with a calmness I find both infuriating and admirable. "If you would only come and see for yourself. These creatures carry venom and the Prince-"

"I'll hear of it no more."

He changed his tune. When Gaius had first told him about the creatures he was very interested, from a military point of view of course. Now because we mentioned his son...

"Wise words Father, as you can see, I'm feeling much better." We all turn and face the main doors. We were so focused on our pitiful argument that we didn't hear Arthur enter.

He moves gracefully towards his Father, bowing his head of golden hair respectfully. Too gracefully. Too familiar... Where's that usual swagger? Yet I don't feel the overwhelming presence from before which is a blessing. Maybe he _is _fine.

Gaius clearly doesn't think so.

"How's your neck sire? Has it healed completely now?"

I remember that we didn't reapply the bandage after the garlic incident and my eyes swivel to that specific place on his neck. And my breath hitches.

I think he's wearing my scarf.

He's tucked it neatly into his shirt so the frayed edges look less conspicuous but I'm pretty sure that it's mine.

How did that happen? True I've been wearing my blue one that I'm less fond of lately. I try to remember the last time I saw old lucky red. I wasn't wearing it in the forest. I left it on the floor of my room. It was due for a wash... This takes creepy to a whole new level.

"Well you're a very good physician Gaius don't be so modest." He thumps us both on the back, a little harder than is necessary. "And it was hardly life threatening anyway."

My mouth opens once more but I manage to remain silent. How can he even say that? How can he say that when the memory of his warm blood on my hands is so vivid in my mind? A few of the Knights exchange uncertain glances too. How can Uther fail to notice?

"There you see Gaius, no need to worry at all." Uther sounds more relaxed now, completely oblivious.

"Yeah no need to worry at all." Arthur agrees too enthusiastically. I can't look at him - I won't. I push my metal shields up with force and sway on my feet. He _is _different, he's just better at hiding it.

Then he continues. "It's not as if I was attacked by _magic _or anything."

He emphasises it strangely, in a way I don't like.

"Heaven forbid." Uther agrees solemnly.

"You've forced out all traces of magic after all Father." He thumps me on the back once more and I freeze with fear, feeling as though I am caught in a downpour. My skin crawls as I am gripped by the certainty that he _knows_. He actually knows I have magic. And he's telling me he's perfectly capable of letting Uther find out.

I exchange a horrified look with Gaius.

It's not just me who would be punished for this. Gaius has known all along and it would be hard enough to deny it.

Luckily the King remains in the dark. For now.

__

Please, please, please don't tell him. I know you know. We both know you do so stop pretending. Don't cause any harm to fall on Gaius. You're my friend, you don't want this so fight it Arthur. Please. For me Arthur, if you're still in there. Just don't.

I try to send this to the smirking Prince behind me with my mind. I have no idea of how much he hears, but I pray it's enough. Enough to appeal to the kind, decent man I once knew. Why would he do this? He thinks I'm 'fascinating'. I'm still his best friend no matter what. I tried to help him with the garlic too though it backfired a little. At least I stopped Gaius from putting it on his skin. That would have been agonising. I helped him so _why_? I realise that it is ridiculous to feel hurt by this replacement's actions. For that is what he is. He's not my Arthur. Not at all. He would never be so cruel.

The air is thick with tension and I can practically hear the cogs in his mind turning in this silence. But then he says, after a lifetime of waiting: "Well maybe I shall take my leave and rest Father."

He moves back towards his throne, looking more visibly relaxed. "Of course, I'm just sorry you were disturbed by this foolishness at all."

"They just said it because they care." He replies in a surprisingly gentle voice that makes my heart beat quicken in hope. But then he adds, "I'm sure they won't dare interfere anymore."

I can feel his emotions change colour and darken monstrously as he strides out of the room. It's another reference to my powers. He's telling us to back off or he'll tell.

He will tell and I will die.

* * *

_Dreams..._

_I seem to sleep more since It attacked me. The memory of the incident is hazy already. So are other things. Like when Merlin checked on me. He says: "Are you alright... Should I get Gaius?" Then he says my name as he gently touches my shoulder in concern then I..._

_Then I what? It's a blank. I block it out. The emotions are too frighteningly powerful, too hateful, too erotic, too confusing. _

_Too hungry._

_I sleep more because I'm changing. I forget more because I want to. It's too horrific. It's a fight that I am losing. I'm losing control._

_Then there's the voice as I sleep. She calls to me from my window ledge. Even though she speaks in my dreams, I know she is really there. I can feel her. She's like me. She _made _me._

_"Give in to the change." She whispers, and it seems like the easiest thing in the world. Something that I want more than anything_. _Almost more than anything, no, _anyone_._

_"You want the boy." The voice is filled with a false sadness, fake sympathy, taunting me. I do not care. I know who she's talking about and she's right. Every nerve in me pulses with a desire at this vague reference, a constant loneliness. I can't bear it. "How confusing for you. But he's so very different." She concedes in a voice that is a sensual purr that speaks so much sense. I listen because it's true. She's telling me what I want to hear._

_"Go to him. Take him if you wish, turn him if you prefer. He will be a powerful ally..."_

_Yes..."The hunger is so strong when he's around - you poor thing. He makes you weak." He always has. I feel the pain of the hunger now. It is so true, so so true. I ache inside. Two separate hungers, one clear solution._

_"It is his fault. He taunts you."_

_Is that true? _I _took _his _scarf._

_"Of course it is true. We are kin. Do not be weak. Do what you need to do to become stronger." _

_I want to. I want to so badly._

_"Join us. Do anything you want. Take him."_

_Merlin. _

_I speak his name and then I wake..._

* * *

****

I would like your advice on whether I should up the rating. That would give me an indicator of how far you want this to go if you know what I mean. Feed back would be very much appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5

************

Okay, ask and you shall receive... Thanks for all your advice, you people are amazing. I've gone with the majority so this is now an M fic to be safe.

* * *

_I fell into a troubled sleep at some point. But waking up was far more troubling. That's an understatement. It was the most confusing, frightening, terrible, wonderful..._

* * *

Gaius and I fruitlessly searched his volumes for some sort of cure for Arthur for the remainder of the night. We just needed to find some way to appeal to that spark of humanity within him before he gets too out of control. Before he becomes so completely lost, that there can be no return for him.

No return, no Arthur. No Arthur, no Albion.

I state this frantically as we work together though we both know that's not the only reason why I feel this desperate need to help him. He's a part of me. Simple as that. My mother knew it, the Dragon knew it... If he is lost to me, I think I'll die too.

That's if he doesn't kill me first.

Whether he lets Uther do it for him or has the honour himself... The latter seems more likely. He hates me. I felt it in his casual threats, and when he screamed at us to leave his chambers. I don't know what I did to warrant such hatred. I don't know why he's singled me out. A treacherous part of me insists he must have disliked me before. But if that's true, he must have harboured other feelings for me too at some point. The thought makes me dizzy...

I don't tell Gaius about any of this - or the scarf. He is troubled enough without having to worry about me. But it is troubling. More than troubling. He's wearing my scent, and he was so bizarrely obvious about it.

I remember the last time he was so close to me, to my throat. I have to clench my hands into fists to stop them trembling.

"Maybe we should resume our studies in the morning." Gaius breaks into my train of thoughts. My eyes meet his and I find he is studying me intently.

I give him a weak smile. "You're probably right. I mean, I don't want to stop, but refreshed eyes might see more."

"Exactly. You should know by now that I'm always right." Gaius smiles back.

A get to my feet and stretch making my joints crack. "Sure..." I tease, tone heavy with fake disbelief. "Night Gaius."

I turn and head to for my room. Not fast enough apparently. "Oh and Merlin?"

I give him a 'yeah what?' look; now feeling sleepy since my bed was so close. I suppose a part of me hopes I'll wake up and this will all be a nightmare. Just a strange and very vivid nightmare.

No such luck.

"Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

I feel a lump in my throat because of his gentle question that disguises a plea filled with nothing but fatherly concern. I suddenly want to tell him everything, but I know it won't make any of this better. He'll just worry even more. He must know some of it already, it's like this is a test. One that I must fail because another part of me feels like it physically cannot tell him about mine and Arthur's changing relationship. It tells me he'll never understand. He'll just get angry with Arthur, and I must protect him at all costs.

I remember the garlic. I have no idea why I sabotaged the plan since I did not know he'd react so badly. I just had to help him, to protect him...

This is almost as disturbing as the whole smelling thing.

I feel as though I am being pulled apart by my loyalties to Gaius and this new Arthur. I say loyalties, and that is more what I feel towards Gaius and my Arthur before the attack. But the way I feel about this changed Prince...

It feels a lot more like thrall.

I realise Gaius still needs an answer and when I really see him he looks more concerned than ever. He must have seen the flash of emotions across my face. I drop my eyes in shame since I hate lying to him, and I'm about to.

"No. Nothing."

I turn and flee to the comforting emptiness of my room.

* * *

I must have nodded off, but I'd managed to change into my coarse, pale bed clothes. I'd also pulled the material across my window before collapsing on my bed.

"Plæcan." I murmur as I look at the obscured window and the sheet that covers it slides across on its own.

Still night time. Just anyway. Huh.

So why am I awake?

I scratch my head and sit up groggily.

It's very hot in here. Stiflingly hot. And I feel... Strange. I'm agitated and really, _really _hungry. My stomach gurgles on cue and I struggle to remember when I last ate anything. The thought makes me suddenly ravenous. It's unbearable and ridiculous. When have I ever felt this way before? Completely consumed by hunger.

Never. That's when. And I'm still not feeling that way now.

It's not _my _hunger.

As if this realisation was some sort of trigger, I am knocked flat on my back just like he was in the forest. That wasn't my fault though, why's he doing this to me? This panicked thought blares through my mind as the intruder writhes against me, body pliant against mine.

Arthur.

I bat him away furiously as his mind pulses into mine. I don't want his thoughts, it's worse than this physical violation. The hunger, the excitement, the heat, thoughts of what he's going to do to me...

"Get off." My voice contains none of the shocked outrage I feel, it's a weak croak, like I'm begging him. This is bad. He likes that. He restrains my arms with ease, hands clamping around my wrists so hard that it's painful. His face is inches from mine. I can just make out the outline of it in this gloom. All chiselled features, full lips, shining hair that wants to be touched.

"Do another magic trick again." He whispers and I can't hear a trace of my friend in there. He sounds sensual and calm, a lie compared to what he's really feeling. The husky nature of his voice gives it away too. His question catches me out. Of all the things I thought he would say (if any) that was not something I expected.

Between heavy breaths, I manage to choke out a "Get off me and I will." My voice is flat but trembles a little. Under the circumstances I think I did very well.

He releases one of my wrists and I feel a rush a blood return to it and a flicker of hope that he might actually listen to me.

Yeah right.

He pushes my hair back with a surprising tenderness that makes my breath catch in my throat. I can feel such heat radiating from his body, but his touch is ice cold as it traces a path across cheek bone to my jaw, then to my neck. The trail isn't smooth; his hands shake like an addict. He grips my neck firmly where the blood beat fast, closes his eyes for an instant and smiles. It chills my blood. That's what I tell myself anyway. His touch is repulsive. Yes it is yes it is yes it is...

"Make me." He growls, sickeningly playful. Then his expression changes, softens somehow. "Please make me."

I suddenly realise the double meaning of his words. I could force him back. He may be physically stronger than me, but not my magic. Surely not. I blink at him in surprise. Does he actually _want _me to stop him?

"Arthur?" I whisper timidly.

Something snaps inside of him and he forcefully presses his lips against mine and my world shatters. I'm crushed into the pillow, all the breath taken away from me. I thought he would kill me. I was right. This is killing me. It's not him. It's not really him kissing me - if you can call it that. It's brutal and desperate. He bites my bottom lip and tugs at it as I gasp for air, then he bruises my mouth again by assaulting me with another 'kiss', then there's his _tongue _lapping against mine. How did that happen? Waves of terrified pleasure course through me as his body presses against mine aggressively. His hands clench and unclench against my wrists and I'm sure he's going to break them.

I've never kissed anyone like this. Still haven't really. I'm just lying here in shock, unable to think of a coherent way to stop him -

__

Do I even want to? -

There was only one person I've ever imagined doing this with, feeling guilty and ashamed afterwards. Not to mention confused... But to have that person this close to you, yet to not actually have him...

I hate it.

"No, get off. No. Stop. No!"

My knee connects with a certain worryingly lively part of his anatomy and he pulls back a little, looking hurt but slightly amused. Now that's annoying.

__

He lets go of both my wrists.

I press my hands against his chest to prevent him from lunging again - since he sure does look mad - while my mind stumbles for a workable spell. But then I am stunned. Stunned with inappropriate relief. Because -

"Don't lie to me and say you didn't like it." He interrupts acidly and I shake my head frantically. "I can _feel _you. I don't want to but it's true. You call to me and I can't _stand _it."

I am speechless because he sounds _so _human and so lonely. I feel a stab of pity for him though I've already opened my mouth to fiercely deny his words.

He leans closer slowly, less aggressively. My hands slide up his chest and my fear fades slightly. I let him gaze into my eyes, not knowing what he's looking for.

"What are you?" He asks, more to himself than me. His stare intensifies as if the answer can be found somewhere in my eyes.

I swallow nervously.

"You're one to talk." I reply dryly. That overwhelming dark creature is still there inside of him. He's fighting it, but he's going to lose. I can feel him too.

"You make me so weak," he muses and I don't like the direction his thoughts are going in. He wants to get rid of this weakness, but he wants to keep me. Either way, he's so hungry and she told him to ease the hunger by...

"Don't listen to her." I say feeling desperately as his lips dangerously skim my throat once more. I feel the sting of teeth against my jugular and gasp. A shocking rush of desire confuses me for a moment and I force myself not to arch my body into his. That would surely make up his mind for him. I _don't _want this.

"Arthur, you are in there." I say firmly.

And he is. I'm sure of it.

The pressure against my neck lessens as he quirks his head to one side slightly to indicate scepticism.

"I know you are, because I can feel your heartbeat." I explain, feeling like crying. "You're still alive. I can feel your heartbeat and it is beautiful."

He pulls his head back and examines my expression for so long. Then he moves once more and I shut my eyes, thinking that I have lost, that he's given in.

Game over.

Then he gently cups my face in his hands and my eyes flutter open to meet his. I'm not sure, but I think that maybe, just maybe...

They're blue.

He places a delicate kiss on my lips, chaste but sincere, and I _feel _it. I feel it all the way to the tips of my toes. Now that is real. My hands run down his arms until they find his hands.

"Then save me Merlin." He says softly after breaking the kiss. He threads his fingers through mine and I know right then that I'll do whatever it takes to do just that.

"Tell me what to do."


	6. Chapter 6

****

Warning, here there be fluffy vampires...!

* * *

"I stole your scarf."

My lips quirk up into a grin that I can't quite smother. He makes it sound like the worst crime ever _and _he sounds so embarrassed, but so much like my Arthur (it reminds me of when Morgause kicked his ass - good times).

"I had noticed." I reply good humouredly.

My bed is far too narrow for us to lie side by side - and Arthur didn't trust himself to lie above me anymore - so we are sat opposite each other on the bed. Arthur has his legs crossed which makes him look much younger, and I'm kneeling comfortably in front of him. Our hands are still delicately linked.

"I wanted to scare you." He continues, voice cracking.

I can feel my smile slide away. "I know."

"But I also wanted your scent." He hesitates, looking down at our hands instead of my face. "To sort of... um, hunt you."

I shiver, knowing we're approaching dangerous waters once more. "It's not your fault," I say gently. "You know, just give it back!"

He shakes his head and gives me a weak smile that makes my heart ache.

"So you're a sorcerer then."

I blink at the sudden change off topic but then I think, why deny it? He must have seen me in the forest after all. It doesn't matter. I only wish I'd acted sooner. Maybe I could have stopped all of this, maybe...

"Penny for you thoughts?" He sounds like his usual smug self and it gladdens my heart. But underneath there's this new layer of tenderness and concern in his voice that I've never heard before. And it's there for _me_. I smile again.

"I'm sorry I never told you, I only ever wanted to protect you... Without being beheaded." I try a sly joke and smile but I'm too nervous, awaiting his answer.

"I know." His hand brushes my cheek again. "I think on some level I always knew. Ever since I went to get you that flower."

I nearly laugh from shock and the way he phrased it. "You make it sound so nice. I was dying from poison if you remember. It wasn't a little gift."

"That's not the point and you know it." He gives me a genuine smile. "It wasn't a walk in the park for me either. Did I tell you about the giant spiders?"

He interrupts me before I can reply sarcastically, "Anyway, there was this light that guided me out. it saved my life. That was you wasn't it?"

"How did you know?" I am genuinely fascinated since that piece of magic wasn't intentional as I was on the verge of death at that point.

"Because I could feel what a good and pure force it was." He leans closer, "I could feel _you_."

I start to feel a little choked up so revert to my usual brand of humour. "Aw shucks it was nothin'."

He gives me a look that says 'Merlin you nutter' that I welcome gladly since it's such a familiar look - eyebrows raised with a slight sneer. But this time a trace of a smile lingers too.

He suddenly leans close and gives me an over the top smacker of a kiss between the eyebrows that makes us both laugh. I make a big show of wiping my forehead in horror. When we've both recovered from this oddball display of lunacy, he takes my hands again.

"Just how many times have you saved my life Merlin?" He asks.

"I've lost count." I reply, giddy from the way he's smouldering at me.

"No seriously?"

"I've seriously lost count," he groans at another use of my underappreciated humour. But then his face clouds over slightly. I know what this means but I refuse to pull away.

"Are you okay?"

"I was going to tell my Father about you." His voice breaks a little and I realise he's on the verge of tears.

"Hey..." I bring his fingers to my lips and kiss the tips lightly. "It's not you."

"But it is." He leans in so our heads rest together. "Even right now, I want to..."

His voice trails off and he sounds disgusted. I do not ask him to elaborate. There's no need really.

"Listen to me." I place my hands on his cheeks and tilt his head so he faces me. His eyes still glance away, but they are still their natural brilliant blue. For now. "It was that thing that did this to you. It's not you. It would never be you."

I flip his hands over so the palms face me and gently press a lingering kiss on each wrist, right against his wonderfully strong pulse.

"Still going strong. That's good." I murmur, noticing his eyes are now half lidded, with the glint of tears shining beneath.

"I love you." He whispers, swallowing hard. This soft admission makes my breath catch but before I can reciprocate, he cuts me off. "But I also hate you so much."

I feel like he's hit me as he pulls away and stands up, pacing in my small room.

"Arthur -"

"Let me finish." He snaps, now actually crying. "You asked me what you could do to help me, now I'm telling you. You have to kill me."

I jolt, feeling sick. I stand up too fast as though struck by lightening. "No! Don't be so stupid. That's not a solution at all."

"Don't shout." He says coldly, glancing at the door that separates us and the sleeping Gaius.

I run my hands though my hair, tugging hard. "Well what else did you expect me to do?" I burst out.

"We both know I came here to kill you..." He shudders, "Among other things. You must strike first."

"But you're fine now." I protest weakly, grabbing him by the shoulders.

"I am not and you know it." I've never heard a man sound so close to weeping, but I have now. It breaks my heart to hear him sound this way. He's normally so self assured, confident - a ray of arrogant sunshine when he enters a room. A natural born leader. Now he just sounds broken.

"I'll make you better I promise." I'm shaking and so is he and I know he's fading fast. "You just need to hang on."

"I'm trying. But it's so hard." He laments. "I just told you I hate you, but it's this thing in me that does. I hate you for making me want you so much."

I'm taken back by this startling admission. I can't believe he doesn't see the obvious. "I'm yours anyway."

He freezes before looking at me, eyes blazing. "But you're not. Not in the way It wants you. Your blood and body and power..." He adds darkly, sounding less like Arthur by the second.

"Please don't change." I hardly recognise my own weak plea. Now _I _sound broken. I know I can't keep him this way. He's going to hurt me physically, but it'll be nothing compared to the pain I feel when the monster looks back at me through his eyes again. I fear he won't come back.

I pull him close to me and hold him in a desperate hug. One arm across his back, the other in his hair. "Please don't go. Please don't."

His arms wrap around my narrow shoulders tightly with ease.

The voice that responds isn't my Arthur. It isn't the vampire either. He sounds dazed, emotionally drained and fading fast. As if in some sort of trance. "Start with her. She's dangerous so be careful."

"What?" I try to pull back so I can see his face but his arms clamp around me in a crushing bear hug.

"Thanks for the sleepover Merlin." He sounds wide awake now, laughingly cruel. His words buzz in my ear and fills me with dread.

"Arthur?" It slips out but without much hope.

He responds by nibbling my ear with more force than necessary, breath feverishly hot, teeth sharp.

The hunger's back so it seems.

I try to tear myself away, but he's so strong. His feelings for me are so intense: the hatred, hunger, desire and loneliness. I yearn for him too. But now I know I don't want him like this. The real Arthur is in there. And he loves me - or so he says. I can fight this.

I push him again but with my mind. The force of it makes us collide into opposite walls. He lets out a roar of outrage before he's on his feet again, chasing me like some kind of dark storm. He throws me against the wall - how can he be so fast? - and I see stars as my head hits it with a dull _thunk_.

"Have to end this. She said to. Makes me weak." It's the insane ramblings of a real lunatic. His eyes aren't just violet, they're practically _scarlet_.

He pins my arms against the wall and lunges for my jugular...

I let out a strangled cry that he shockingly echoes, shrieking with pain as he releases my arms before tearing out of the room. I fall to the floor now he's no longer supporting me and wonder what the hell just happened. I wearily massage my wrists and try to stop shaking as I realise something.

It is dawn.

Sunrise.

So he held on for that long. That's something at least.


	7. Chapter 7

"Sit."

I sit.

"Eat something."

I nibble on a bread roll half-heartedly, feeling queasy. I can't tell whether it is really stale or just my lack of appetite that makes it so unappealing. Either way, I decide to just do what ever Gaius tells me to do, so I can get the heck out of here ASAP.

Unsurprisingly, I spent the rest of that breaking dawn crouched on the floor, making apprehensive plans.

Since the Dragon went on his rampage and disappeared, I have no one else to turn to. And I don't have a clue of where to start. As far as I can figure, there are three things I need to do. First of all, check on Arthur - make sure he didn't get burnt in the sunlight. I know this isn't the best or safest idea, but I need to know for my peace of mind. The idea of the sun scorching him makes my stomach lurch. I shove my roll back on its metal plate. It makes an unappetising _thud_. Guess it was stale.

"I suppose we should continue our research then." Says Gaius. I can feel his eyes examining me and refuse to look up from my lap.

Thing Number Two: Find a way to stop the infection and/or kill the thing that did this to Arthur.

I think the two will be related somehow. Maybe if I destroy her, it will save him. Hopefully. But she has to be stopped anyway. Arthur implied that she had voiced a certain interest in me last night. That's a nice way of saying she wanted Arthur to Kill Me Dead. I can't work out whether it is because I'm a threat to her or... Maybe she wants me to join them? Nah, she would have just bitten me instead.

I freeze.

Maybe she just wanted Arthur to drink my blood. Like it's some kind of initiation? I swallow hard and try not to shudder at the thought of Arthur's soul being lost in such bloodshed. It's unimaginable. Yet he almost did it. I almost _let _him.

"Merlin, why aren't you answering me?"

Uh oh. Number three: Keep Gaius out of this. Under no circumstances let him know that you spent the majority of last night with your male, Vampire-Prince sweetheart and his abusive, evil twin. I go red at the idea of calling Arthur my sweetheart - but what else can I call him?

As if it that's the most important issue right now!

_Get a grip Merlin!_

"Sorry Gaius, my head's in the clouds." I smile uncomfortably.

"You do seem a bit peaky." He concedes. If only he knew...

My head currently feels as if I've drunk a whole bottle of Gaius's 'special wine'. There must be a lump the size of a fist growing out the back of my head from my little trip into the wall courtesy of Evil Arthur. I resist the urge to poke it - that wouldn't help matters at all really. A quick glance in the mirror before joining Gaius confirmed that I'm paler than ever now (how is that even possible? Or fair) with dark rings around my normally large 'doe eyes' (or so Arthur calls them whenever I give him a reproachful look - normally because of something he's done of course). My neck is sore from where he scraped it with his teeth, though there's only the faintest mark. I washed it well and tied my blue scarf tightly around it for concealment, hoping for the best.

"What are those?" Gaius points in horror.

Oh yes, then there's my wrists of course.

I tug my sleeves back down, but not fast enough. He's already seen the ugly circle of bruises that cover them - all blues and blacks and, my personal favourite, an attractive, sludgy brown. How do I choose to wittily reply in the face of this startling evidence?

"Uh nothing."

_Excellent_.

"Merlin, you used to think twice before lying to me." He actually sounds hurt and a wave of shame washes through me.

I have to give him something. Even if it's only an edited version of the truth.

"Sorry." I sigh, "Would you believe me if I said I'm trying to protect you?"

I study his expression. I think he's shocked, possibly even touched.

"What?"

Or just angry.

"You don't need to do anything of the sort." His voice wavers and is unnecessarily loud. I flinch back and his tone softens. "Merlin, it is I who should be protecting you. Not the other way around."

I feel like crying but won't. I can tell he thinks he's failed me as a guardian. He cannot be further from the truth. Calling him a guardian actually feels strange - father is more appropriate to me, _that's _how good he is. For some reason I can't find the words to tell him this.

"You can't protect me from everything." I say softly and his face falls, so I back-track "It's not as bad as it looks anyway."

"Looks bad enough to me." He remarks stiffly, before reaching for a vial of his special balm. It was the same stuff he gave me for healing my broom bruises from Arthur after our mace fight. He rolls back my sleeves gently and we both wince. They look even worse in the daylight - clear hand imprints.

"There has to be an easier way to earn a living." I remark with a grimace. Frequent beatings can't be in the man servant job description...

"Are you saying Arthur did this to you?" His brilliant eyes meet mine and any urge to lie for Arthur is thrown to the back of my mind in the face of such touching concern.

"We had words last night." I reply in a small voice.

He shakes his head looking appalled and dabs some of the ointment onto my wrists. I grit my teeth at the sudden flare of pain.

"We must do something." he grunts determinedly, sounding like he's barely restraining his anger.

"_I _will."

He glares at me, noticing my change of pronoun. "You need to stay away from him Merlin. I take it that was what he told you last night?"

I fudge the truth, "Pretty much. And you know I can't do that Gaius."

"He's dangerous," he protests.

"So am I," I reply quietly.

With a frustrated sigh he releases my wrists and drops them into my lap.

"I suppose I have to accept that you're going to face Arthur no matter what I say." There's an undercurrent beneath this cool statement. Like he's pleading with me a little. We both know that won't work.

"You know me," I joke a little. "But I _do _need you Gaius. Always will." He pats the back of my hand awkwardly then turns away, eyes too bright with emotion. I clear my throat, pretending I haven't seen. "Is there anything you've found out about stopping the infection? Or fighting these things?" The idea has occurred to us both that there might be more than one additional vampire, excluding Arthur. How could we contain him?

I have the sudden ludicrous image of me lassoing Arthur - for his own protection of course - and struggle not to grin.

"Of course I've found something." He answers hoarsely, back still turned. "I'm brilliant."

That he is.

* * *

However, his ideas are not so well received.

"I can't do that Gaius." I state flatly, lump forming in my throat. "Don't ask me to do that."

You have to admire that steely countenance sometimes. When Gaius knows what must be done, he doesn't compromise - doesn't back away.

Even if it's breaking my heart.

He doesn't understand, "I'm sure you will make the spell work with ease."

I tug my hair at the roots. If I keep having days like this, I'll be bald well before I'm thirty.

"That's not the point. I know I can handle it." I swallow. "But what if it backfires?"

"I don't see why it should. Not if you trust Arthur." He replies dryly.

"Arthur _hasn't _killed yet." I insist though I know I cannot be certain. But somehow, I feel it. "But that doesn't mean the sunlight won't hurt him. We don't even know he's in the forest with the others either."

"You said he's nowhere to be seen in the castle." Gaius argues reasonably. He's too calm. I can't stand it.

"But he could just be holed up in a closet somewhere like a giant cat." I babble, hardly aware of what I'm saying.

"Merlin." He gently places his hands on my shoulders. "I know there is a great risk -"

"You don't know _anything_!" I shout, close to breaking before bitterly adding, "Yeah okay, you're right. He said to start with her-

_"Start with her. She's dangerous so be careful" (my Arthur's last words)_

- but what if it's a trap? Or what if it _does _wor-"

I bite my lip and barely stop the words from slipping out. The true reason why I am so upset.

Gaius sadly finishes it for me: "What if the plan actually does work? Is that it?"

I can't deny it. Gaius thinks there must be some kind of spell I can use on the creatures if I return to the darkest part of the forest. Maybe I can blow the leaves off of the trees and expose them to the sunlight? Or perhaps that beautiful ball of light that Arthur liked so much would have the same effect as natural light? The idea of using what I have now come to think of as Our Spell (mine and Arthur's) to kill, makes me feel sick. Especially considering Arthur may have joined them. It's more than likely since he's missing in action.

Gaius says that such a spell won't hurt Arthur, since he hasn't become one of them yet. He hasn't taken a life or drained anyone's blood. I say, why risk it? I remember the way he fled my room as the sun came up... It hurts so much to think that he could never set foot in the sunlight again. It's even worse to think that I could accidentally kill him with it.

Then there's the notion that destroying his maker could reverse all effects.

Every single effect that these past days have had on him.

Even the memories.

Images flash through my mind...

_The way he fought so hard to hold on for me. Him saying that he loved me. The miraculous feel of his heartbeat against my hand. The broken, heartbreaking smile he gave me as he tried to hang on. The ridiculous smacker of a kiss he gave me (right between the eyes). His cool hands linked through mine; making me understand what it actually means to heart skip a heart beat. And that _real _kiss, warming me from within until I felt an actual completeness inside… _

And perhaps most significantly, his gentle acceptance of my powers.

Tears slide down my cheeks and I look away from Gaius before answering in a hollow, broken voice I hardly recognise as my own.

"I'm going to lose so much."

But I know the way that I feel doesn't matter. It can't.

"_Save me Merlin."_

I have a promise to keep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Updates may slow a little since I'm about to start 12 hour shifts at the bar I work in :( Sorry people - believe me!**

* * *

__

Meet your maker...

"Nice cloak."

Of all the things I expected to hear from this monster, that sure wasn't one of them.

I smile but it is cold and alien. I can't control myself anymore. I don't want to. I tremble with anticipation. She can tame the hunger. She can cure this loneliness, make all the confusion stop. Goosebumps rise along my skin as I feel her move closer in this din.

"I find it keeps the sunlight away. I'm quite opposed to a tan these days." My voice is dry and strangely humourless, but my heart is racing. It's been like that for a long time now, and I wonder from time to time, when it will stop completely. I want to be liker her and surely it can't take this strain any longer.

She laughs at me.

"That's all in your mind young one." It's the same woman who bit me before. I do not start. It feels like home. She emerges from the shadows in all her glory, wild and curvaceous. Torn dress stained most likely with my own blood. Her hair is fire, her skin aggressively pale. I can feel the tract of her greedy mind. She eyes me as if I were a piece of meat, violet eyes glistening. I guess I am to her.

"What do you mean?" My voice trembles with barely suppressed excitement from the very sight of her.

"You haven't eaten anything yet, true?"

__

Eaten anything...

"You mean... I haven't drunk anyone's blood yet?" I ask uncertainly, dying for her to move closer.

"Exactly." She smiles and I think that maybe this will still my heart forever. Maybe not. "It wouldn't damage you too much. You're not a creature of the night yet until you do."

__

Do I even want to be like her?

I shake my head to chase away these confusing thoughts. I am what I am, whatever that may be.

"Do you live here on your own?" I gesture around at the dense foliage in the darkest parts of the forest. I knew exactly where to find her. I could sense her, calling to me.

"Family's coming." She answers casually before circling me. Prowling with a fiendish grin. "I never had a Prince before..." She purrs to distract me.

It works. "What _have _you done to me?"

"I've freed you."

"Is that what you call it?" It comes out a little too sarcastically and I bite my lip. I don't want to anger her. I want to please her so much... But why does my mind keep betraying her so?

"It's because you're conflicted." I jump in shock. She actually read my mind. It is madness but somehow that makes perfect sense. She now stands behind me, hands rubbing my shoulders as if to relieve stress. Unimaginable strength is coiled beneath those delicate fingers along with unspoken promises from desire. I didn't see her move, just a blur. Her soft yet feral voice floats in my ear as she continues. It makes me shiver and I realise I adore her.

__

I hate her more...

No.

"It's okay Arthur," she breathes deeply. "It's the boy isn't it?"

There's that mock-sympathetic voice again.

"Don't patronise me Araya." The name just slips out and I don't question it. It came from her. My voice trembles with anger but not for her. For _him_. I know she understands.

Her entire soft yet powerful body is pressed against my back and I know she's doing it to taunt me. I can't see her. I can't move, it's as if she has a hold over me.

She hushes me. "There now. He's on his way you know?"

"I do."

"You can still remove the complication."

"I can?"

"For me?"

"Of course I will."

She rewards me with a kiss that is hot and nasty but I don't feel it. Sure, there's a certain weakness inside - we are bonded. But I don't feel that combination of raw lust and need. Not like I do when...

"Forget about him for now." She pants against my lips. "You will lead us into a brave new world, our very own kingdom. No one can stop that."

My last shreds of doubt are consumed as she presses against me. Thoughts that are more like emotions and swirls of dark colours encase my mind. I don't think anymore. I can't. I just _am_. I do what I want and I _take_. That is all and I welcome it.

* * *

He's close.

So is she.

I bite my lip and try not to panic. Or curse. This was only to be expected, that they would reunite. But now I wish I'd taken a horse into the woods since I'm not sure how much daylight I have left. I thought that I might be quieter on foot - but it was a wasted effort. They know I'm coming anyway. There's this sick eagerness that's chilling with its sadistic anticipation. It's not my Arthur anymore.

I reach the darker part of the woods, where the trees have gnarled branches that blackly curl together, teaming up against the sunlight. I savour the last rays that slant through the dappled green leaves. I might not see it again if this doesn't work.

I take a deep breath before entering their dominion. Their world and rules.

There is that same instant silence. Even the leaves don't rustle in the formerly gentle breeze that is now bitterly cold. It seems to cut right through me.

I can feel waves of emotion that do not belong to me. Lust, anger, fear... They're going to kill me together.

How lovely.

But all my hope isn't lost because although I cannot see them, there is one spark of emotion clearly coming from both of them that pleases me greatly. And that's fear.

"You wish."

Before I can even turn, something that is shockingly cold, and marble-like wraps tightly around my throat from behind, yanking me back into a solid structure with a violence that's dreadfully casual and fast.

The first mad thought that rushes through my head is _'It's the gnarled tree!'_ That's what it felt like anyway. Like the very branches of solid old tree had locked around my throat and pulled me back into its trunk, claiming me as its own. Maybe that would have been preferable...

But it's her strength, her voice, her unfeasibly cold and hard body that I'm crushed against as she chokes the life out of me with one of those marble arms. It repulses me and I gag as she squeezes harder. She's clearly dead inside and out.

__

Nice rescue mission Merlin. You've done a bang up job. She's killing you and with one arm no less...

There is a terrible howling through my mind, like the roar of the ocean. Horrible flashes of greedy triumph come from the 'woman' behind me. It's even more disturbing than this whole situation - the fact she was making me feel happy about my own impending death. My eyes feel like they're going to explode in their sockets from the pressure as I claw at her lock around my neck. I might as well be fighting the tree for all the good it's doing. She barely even staggers. I feel like collapsing but her hold is cruel and she won't let me fall. I cannot utter a single incantation. I hear frightful rasping noises that are filled with desperation and search the forest with wild eyes until I realise its coming from me. She laughs gleefully and I realise she can hear my thoughts.

I feel the eyes of someone else approaching but can no longer see since dark shapes are blooming in front of my eyes. No, _behind _them.

She lets go so suddenly that I do fall forwards onto the floor, gasping for air like a fish out of water. A new searing pain in my throat screams in protest and I realise right then, that she could have broken my neck if she wanted to. Why didn't she?

"You're not mine to take." She announces dramatically, enjoying this far too much. I try to scramble to my feet but my weak legs fail me. I fall again, cutting my knees and the palms of my hands on sharp pieces of kindling on the ground. I gasp at this new and unexpected pain. It is so sudden that I use it to focus, to see this situation through a new perspective of heightened feelings.

It is Arthur's feet that now rest in front of me. I recognise those boots anywhere (polished them enough times). I weakly crane my head up and see that he's acquired a new dark, hooded cloak (_to hide from the way I'll look at him or just the sunlight?). _I can't see his expression but I am simultaneously relieved and scared by his presence. I found him. He isn't burnt. I feel stupidly glad although I know he's going to hurt me. But… I can also feel how conflicted he is.

__

'Help me.'

I send the thought to him but it's pointless. She can hear me too.

Right on cue, her bare foot kicks me in the side and I roll onto my back like a bizarre sort of turtle with an out rush of tortured breath. It feels like my hand has been torn in half as I catch it on a rough fallen branch. They're both leaning over me now on either side, faces pale and terrible with beauty and hunger.

"Kill him for me Arthur."

I see the look he gives her and my blood freezes. It is one of pure adoration. He drops to his knees and places one hand on my chest. That may not sound so terrible but he is now incredibly strong. It feels like he's dropped an anvil on my chest. My breathing becomes more laboured.

His other hand grabs my wrist again, reawakening old bruises.

"Arthur don't." I beg weakly.

He ignores me completely. There's nothing in there anymore, just the primal need to do as he wishes. To drink, take then kill.

"I thought you were special." She croons from the distance. "But you're nothing. Nothing compared to my Arthur."

As if spurred on by this praise, and with a groan of hunger that turns to ecstasy, he pulls my stinging hand to his lips. I hold my breath (at least it hurts less that way). I know that it must be bleeding and that with one taste we will both die. He will be just like her and I will be killed. He will be consumed by blood lust and will go for my neck again. This time he won't be stopped.

I know what I have to do and the words of the enchantment churn sluggishly through my mind. The words that will channel the sun and form a ball of purest light that will destroy any vampires. Most likely including Arthur.

I lick my lips and prepare to utter them before they can silence me forever. Can I really do it though? Could I really risk his life like that? I helplessly agonise over the decision, knowing I don't have long. Gaius says I should but I know, I just know, right then that I can't. I never could.

Then the decision is taken out of my hands.

In reality, Arthur with his mouth so near my blood flow, so close to killing me, throws my hand away in horror and makes a wounded noise as if he's been hit.

I stop as a wonderful image flashes through my mind.

No, not my mind. It came from _Arthur's._

It's my own face looking at me. No Arthur. It's not weak and battered as it is now but shining with gentle hope and happiness. I look younger, but it is only from a few hours ago at most because I say, I say...

"It was that thing that did this to you. It's not you. It would never be you."

My hands are pressed tenderly against his cheeks and I feel a rush of love run though me/him. It is beautiful but disconcerting as I'm seeing myself though the eyes of his memory. I'm sat opposite him but so close enough for him to be hyper-aware of my every movement. The moon gives my ruffled raven hair streaks of midnight blue. My eyes are bright, nearly silver. Shadows only serve to compliment my delicate facial structure or so he thinks. He thinks that I am beautiful. He hates the sadness he can read behind my eyes. He hates himself and wants to stay the same. To not give into his feral impulses. He wants to stay the same for me.

The memory-me takes his hands and presses a lingering kiss on each wrist, right against his pulse. He shivers in delight and relief.

"Still going strong. That's good." I murmur sounding entranced myself. It warms his heart and he thinks right then that he's never been more grateful for me being in his life.

He's also never loved me more.

"Arthur what's wrong? Do it." She orders and I sit up shakily to watch his reaction.

She sounds nervous now. She's right to be.

"No." He's on his feet and moving closer to her.

"What?" She's wrong footed but I can feel his outrage, his terror his extreme anger.

All aimed at her.

She takes a step back.

"You heard." He growls and I shudder. It's not my Arthur, but he's still in there. And both parts of his new personality are furious with her.

Because of me?

He prowls closer and she moves back, but with purpose. It's like seeing two wild animals prepare to fight, eyeing each other up.

I can see what Arthur has behind his back. What he scooped up from the floor in a flash so I barely registered the movement.

It's that long piece of branch, the one that cut my hand open. Both of us hear Arthur's intentions, the idea must have come from within her anyway.

He lunges for her and I scream because I know how strong she is. My neck can attest to that.

But Arthur is stronger.

It happens in a slowed motion. Like I once told you, time never runs in one single consistent speed, especially if you can slow it like me.

One minute I'm calling out to him, willing him to be careful, the next...

He's jamming the piece of wood straight through her heart.


	9. Chapter 9

It's like a giant dust bunny.

It's strange the things you think of in a serious situation. And on a scale of seriousness, this is pretty out there. But still, the first thing I thought of as she crumpled was: dust. Followed by dust bunny. I guess it's because I've done my fair share of dusting in Arthur's chambers. More than my fair share actually and -

As if that matters.

Arthur stands before me, like some kind of avenging angel. Standing tall, arm extended, branch punching a hole right through her chest.

I think I'm going to pass out.

"Go to hell." He growls mercilessly and I can just see her face from my not so advantage point on the floor. It is one of almost comical surprise. I feel the bizarre need to laugh and can't exactly pinpoint why. Maybe in relief? Or from the sheer randomness of this situation. I also feel very nervous. I can feel his tangle of emotions. There's so much rage there and most of it is related to me in some way. I think he's going to turn that makeshift weapon on _me _next.

"Arthur?" She doesn't fight him, doesn't attempt to take him with her. That single word is full of absolute betrayal and stupid disbelief. I almost feel sorry for her. He pulls the stake out and the sound it makes will most likely haunt me forever. All I could even think that was close to describing it (and doesn't really make much sense) is 'rotting meat'.

Then she... collapses. Implodes into herself. That snow white skin turns into the colour and texture of old rags. All of the colour greys until she looks like a dowdy tepia painting. Her hair actually retracts nightmarishly back into her skull. Those wide eyes almost fold in - there's no other way to explain it - as she turns into a mere husk. The life is being sucked out of her for once. During this nauseating process (that I can't tear my eyes away from) she staggers forward and grabs the front of Arthur's cloak. He cries out in mild panic, breaking that chillingly murderous exterior. His mind slips away from mine with one last burst of bewilderment on his part. I realise I'm losing the connection to him as her hold lessens along with her remaining life span.

He jerks back in panic and she clings to him. He shoves her away in disgust and fear and she falls backwards and then apart, like some kind of dust cloud. She disintegrates as she hits the floor. I gag as the pieces blow towards me and stagger hastily to my feet, trying the avoid the sight of the now unrecognisable shape held together by ancient cloth on the floor.

Arthur must be experiencing similar problems. Oh god, it _touched _him.

He sinks into a crouch gasping uneasily. Then he places his head in his hands and begins to rock, hiding from me.

"Arthur?" I approach him attentively, not knowing what to expect.

I think he's safe now. Just scared.

I hear a small voice in my head - the paranoid, glass-is-half-empty side of my persona.

__

Destroying his maker could reverse all effects... Even the memories.

Please no. Just no. Not today. Give me one more day, _please_.

"Arthur, it's okay, she's gone now." I say gently but a shrill note of desperation edges into my voice as he fails to respond.

I place a hand on his shoulder, crouching in front of him and his head snaps up so his eyes can meet mine. They widen in utter confusion.

"I was attacked?" It's not a statement but a question full of uncertainty. But my heart sinks. Does he mean the first time?

"Yes you were but that was two days ago." I prompt gently, hanging on to hope. He looks like he's going to break and my heart goes out to him. He actually looks scared.

"I'm... That's not possible." His hand gingerly goes to his throat where the cut should be but isn't. At least that stayed the same. Thank goodness.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Please remember, please remember.

He opens his mouth then hesitates. "Pain. Something attacked me!" He exclaims, shakily getting to his feet. "Where is it? Where's my sword Merlin you idiot? Don't tell me you've lost it."

I don't know whether he means the creature or the sword and can only blink stupidly at him, still on hunkers. I feel like I'm falling...

I gabble a meaningless rush of words to soothe his anxiety and curb his annoyance (and confusion). After all, I am here to protect him. What does it matter if it feels like I'm dying inside a little? It doesn't. It _can't_.

I swallow. This will be painful. Emotionally for the obvious reasons, physically because my throat is on fire.

"I think you're suffering from amnesia Arthur. That was days ago and you just killed it. You're fine, we're both fine. Can't we just go home?"

Maybe he heard the throbbing hurt in my voice. Maybe he sensed I'm close to tears. Or maybe he just saw the very literal bruises I can feel puffing up as we speak. This would mean he's noticed someone else for a change. _At least he's changed a little then - _I think bitterly.

Either way, he kneels back in front of me and reaches out as if to touch my neck. I ache for the embrace but know before he does that he'll pull back. I'm right.

He clears his throat.

"Do I look as bad as you Merlin?"

I nearly smile. That roughly translates in Arthur-speak as: Are you okay?

"It's not as bad as it looks." I rasp, regretting every word. "The vampire must have a thing for necks." I add dryly rubbing it self consciously. His eyes are fixed on this movement for some reason, looking wistful. I hope any leftover urges have disappeared, I really do. But I know that part of him is gone. So why is he so transfixed?

"Is that what it was?" He asks slowly, sounding dazed.

"Yes. I'll get Gaius to fill you in if you like." He nods, finally tearing his eyes away from me, to my relief.

"Why don't I remember?" He asks it to himself more than me, sounding frustrated.

"I think it's a side effect," I hedge.

"A side effect of what?" he drawls, giving me the evil eye.

"Well she er..." I hesitate.

"She what?" Impatient…

"Bit you." I blurt it out.

"_What_?" He explodes, turning red.

"Just a little bit." I say as consolation. "But at least you killed her."

"I did?" He cheers up considerably. Typical. Killing things makes him happy. Heh.

I elaborate for his happiness, knowing fully well that I won't be able to talk for days after. "Yes, with a giant pointy stick."

"_What_?" He repeats again. "That's so lame!"

"But effective." I cough then, roughly covering my mouth.

"I think we should get you back to Gaius." It's one of those suggestions that's really an order and I sigh. Same old Arthur. It would be funny if it wasn't so upsetting. He knew me. For once he knew me and even _loved _-

I must forget that now. Too painful.

Speaking of pain...

"Ow!" I forgot about my hands and was suddenly reminded as I pushed myself up. Hmm, maybe there's a healing potion in my book? The next flare of pain would have sent me flying back down to the ground again if Arthur hadn't suddenly heaved me up by the shoulders. Shoot. I think I've broke a rib. I remember her kick and shudder.

"Are you okay?" He asks, looking into my eyes with an intensity that made me shiver in a different way.

Not good. I have to cover. Those eyes are so stunning...

I laugh at my idiocy.

"What?" He asks gently, still touching my shoulders lightly. His face is too close to mine. I feel sparks between us and wonder if he feels it too.

"Nothing." I backtrack. "It's just... If you could remember what you've been through lately, you'd understand that _I _should really be asking you that."

He raises his eyebrows and slowly begins to lead us back towards sunlight and civilisation. His arm is around my shoulders and I lean gratefully and heavily on him for support, hobbling like an old man and trying not to wince.

"You're going to have to explain _that_." He replies dryly.

"Of course." Of course _not_.

* * *

The next few days started to make everything seem like a very vivid dream to me. Something I couldn't let myself think about, hoping it would fade, yet cherishing certain moments forever. I have the feeling it's the same for Arthur too. Though maybe that's just wishful thinking...

Maybe not.

Every now and then, if I tell a stupid a joke, he'll give me this beautiful, completely sincere smile. He'll look at me like I'm actually someone and I have to leave his presence before I blurt out details what happened between us. But I know he'd never believe me. It was the vampire influence.

Okay, I know that's bull. The things he said about the spell way back when he tried to save me from Nimueh's poison... And when he told me he loved me... That had to come from him - right? But he was vulnerable then, like a different person. He needed me. He also knew about my magic. I can't risk telling him again, can I? Admittedly, I've often caught myself thinking about ways to mention that ball of light that guided him out of that cave. But then I have to clench my fists and tell myself not to be so 'utterly ridiculous Merlin'.

But it's _hard_. It's hard when you have to spend almost all the time with someone you want but can never have (maybe that's how he felt when he was infected?). It's hard when you wake in the middle of the night with tears running down your face and you can't tell anyone why. It's especially hard, having to live with the possibility of what could have been.

But who am I kidding? Nothing could have become of us. He's a Prince. He's a _man _for goodness sake.

But a part of me thinks that doesn't matter, because he is _mine_.

But anyway, like they say, time heals all wounds. At least the literal ones. My cracked ribs gradually knitted back together (Gaius wouldn't let me use magic because he thought it would be too suspicious. Thanks mate!). Arthur didn't help matters either. He still made me run errands for him - and he poked me in the ribs when he felt I wasn't listening to him well enough. He even sang a chorus of 'Hallelujah' when I did lose my voice. But that's just Arthur.

He's started having more funny moments lately. Like when he returned my scarf to me.

"This tatty old rag must belong to you Merlin. I would never wear something so stylish."

When I grunted sarcastic thanks and tried to snatch it back, our fingers touched and we both froze. He left his hand against mine and a flicker of understanding flashed in his eyes - like he was trying to work something out. Only for a second though. Then he dodged away, clearing his throat awkwardly before swanning off to more important princely matters I'm sure.

It's moments like those that make me want to scream.

Another time I was polishing his armour, feeling all drowsy when gentle fingers suddenly grazed the front of my neck from behind. I closed my eyes and leaned into the touch before I could stop myself or consider the consequences. I knew who it was and that is _bad_. I should have at least jumped in fright... Then came another awkward throat noise and his touch faded away. I looked at him in confusion and all he said was:

"That's a strange scar on your neck." I touched the place to which he was referring and my face flooded with colour. It was where he bit me, well, grazed me. I'm surprised he could even see it at all it's so faded. But still he looked troubled, like he was piecing something together. I merely shrugged helplessly and he walked away, leaving me feeling frustrated - but mostly with myself.

He's summoned me for fewer chores since then. I don't see why and that's the worst part. I hate that we're drifting further apart.

I still wake him in the mornings for breakfast, when he's vulnerable, half naked and adorably bed headed. He doesn't judge or frown in his sleep. His face is smoothed out, looking peaceful, worry-free and innocent. I wish I could stop thinking of him in this way. I never did before; at least, I wasn't aware of it so much anyway. It was better. Less painful.

This morning I gloomily trail into his room, focusing on being professional with his tray of meats and cheese (urgh). He's still asleep, spread out endearingly like a starfish. I try not to smile. He twitches as I set the tray down beside his bed and just as I'm about to tell him to _rise and shine you lazy bugger _he says something that makes me pause with curiosity.

"Then... then..." He trails off and I think that's it.

I decide to end that riveting dream but just as I'm about to he says pleadingly...

"Then save me Merlin."

Same old Arthur?

I really smile this time.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! I might actually do one more chapter if you like to wrap things out, unless you like the ambiguity? Let me know, I don't mind either way.**


	10. Chapter 10

****

For your enjoyment. Thanks for reading :)

* * *

"Nuh uh." I fold my arms resolutely and try my very best to look disapproving.

Arthur sighs melodramatically. "Just one afternoon okay?"

"It's not the length of time," I protest weakly. "It's the whole: 'follow me blindly on an adventure _Mer_lin' thing that bothers me." I drawl in his voice, sounding bossy, posh and overly nasal. Not that I'm saying that's _exactly _how he sounds, I just like to make his eyes pop out in annoyance like they are right now.

"It's a surprise Merlin, I'm sure you're familiar with the word." He replies through gritted teeth. "Not knowing is the point." He doesn't need to add the silent _idiot_.

I narrow my eyes and hiss: "Last time you gave me a 'surprise'" - I air quote - "It was to reveal your new horse that liked to crap everywhere and gave me the honour of scooping."

"Good memories..." He counters dreamily and I scowl. He laughs, "Oh come on, it's just one afternoon," he repeats with a smirk, emphasising it strangely as if I've missed some sort of hidden meaning. "I'm having a day off and you're coming with me," he orders as if it's all settled.

"I have work to do."

"As if you actually do any work Merlin." He mocks in disbelief.

I study him and tilt my head slightly. He looks different today but I'm not sure why. He's still an ass but it feels like one of his odd moments again, only he doesn't seem confused. He looks confident, determined and... Slightly nervous. He keeps swallowing and his hands keep fidgeting as he towers over me (I'm currently folding the hugest pile of laundered clothes you'd ever see. Seriously). What does he have to be nervous about? I on the other hand, always feel nervous and highly aware of him. I try not to be alone with him for too long. It's too tempting to say something I shouldn't. Especially since his little sleep talking episode. _Especially _since he looks so irritatingly good today. His hair is freshly washed and lazily curling forward above his pale sapphire eyes. He's dressed very casually today in that slashed to the chest, plain shirt of his since it's so hot today. The idea of us spending time alone together, 'relaxing' as he said earlier, makes my heart pound wildly and I'm very glad he's lost his heightened hearing.

We haven't talked about it at all. The dreams that is. I'm not even sure if he was repeating the words he once said to me and then lost within his missing memory. I hope he was. I hope there's still a part of him that dreams about me, but I tend to doubt it. Mostly. Right now however...

"Merlin, it's important." He says softly, an edge of desperation sneaking into his words. My resolve weakens a little more. Then without warning, he hauls me to my feet by the arms, not once breaking that searing eye contact. "Come on."

"Why?" I'm not just wondering where -and why- we're going, but why is he so strangely excited? Why so determined?

He sighs, "Because we need to talk." Before I can digest that, he pokes me roughly in the chin. Needless to say, I'm pretty startled as I flinch away, probably with a goofy grin and all.

"Hey!"

"That's better," he grins, looking smug. "You need to smile more again."

What does that mean? He keeps dropping little hints now and then. I know I haven't been myself lately, but I didn't think he'd noticed.

I clear my throat and look away from him. "It'll probably help if you didn't abuse me all the time," I joke.

"It was just a poke you big baby," he says good humouredly.

I chuck the pile of clothes into his cupboard and slam the door before there can be a clothes avalanche.

"You really do take pride in your work don't you Merlin?" He teases, watching my every move and not looking too pleased.

I grin sheepishly. "Always sire!"

"Then you deserve a break, don't you agree?" He's inching closer; the comedy in his voice lessens until I know he's being serious. He gives me a small smile that seems to be asking me to understand. How can I when I don't know what he wants from me?

"Okay - yes." I whisper weakly, lost in those eyes. It slips out without permission so that I curse myself silently. That's breaking my no-time-alone rule but I can't help it. I'd follow him anywhere.

A slow smile spreads across his face and I can't help but beam back at him. "Great! You can saddle up our horses and wait for me in the courtyard then."

"Hold on a minute!" I press my hands against his chest before he can push past me to leave and drop them instantly. No touching: rule two.

He makes a twirling hand gesture as if to say 'hurry up', whilst looking at me as if I'm mental. "You've got to give me a clue here." I wheedle, smiling as sweetly like it would make a difference.

He pats me hard on the back before patronising me. "Good things come to those who wait Merlin." He starts off looking smug but then blushes for some reason before hustling past me and out of his chamber doors.

He may be past the smelling me stage, but post-vampire Arthur sure is _weird_.

* * *

"This is where I come to be alone."

Arthur swings off of his horse, landing with confidence and style that I could never quite master. After an hour of riding (and I didn't fall off for once - score), we finally arrived at this place. It certainly made the uncomfortable journey worth it. Uncomfortable because of the awkward silence between us. And the heat. Normally we'd banter, swap insults, refuse to talk to each other and then start the cycle all over again but today is different. I feel this strange sensation in the pit of my stomach - like excitement building- no idea why. There was an air of tension between us as we rode side by side in companionable silence. Something grew between us, promises and stirrings of change. I just don't know whether it will be good change. We occasionally took shy glances at each other before looking away in earnest when caught, grinning goofily and all. It's like we're children again. It's bizarre. I hummed a little ditty as a distraction.

"Uh just don't Merlin. No. Just don't." He said flatly, unimpressed.

Okay then!

I knew he was only teasing. I saw that mischievous light in his eyes and had to fight not to smile myself. It was the first thing he'd said since getting all irritated by my constant questioning about where we're going (he actually threatened to dump me in the nearest lake. Whatever. It's so hot I'm sure that would be rather pleasant).

"You just don't appreciate great art." It slipped out before I could stop myself, and I was tempted to back it up with some classical opera imitations when he teased me back. It made my jaw drop because it's so unexpected.

"I'm sure you have _many _great talents Merlin but singing sure isn't one of them." Is he flirting? It sounded like it. It sounded seductive but good humoured. I flounder helplessly, knowing I'm going red and unsure of how to respond. Fortunately I didn't have to. It was then that we rounded the corner from the outer edge of the woods and came into the clearing.

This place. This place is simply...

"Beautiful." I whisper in awe. As I take in the view I see Arthur out of the corner of my eyes scanning my face. He's probably checking for signs of sarcasm or insincerity. I give him a reassuring smile though I don't quite know why we're here if he likes being alone so much. Speaking of which, when is he ever without me? I feel like his clumsy shadow sometimes and I'm almost ridiculously insulted that he's managed to slip away before. He returns my smile gratefully and steadies me as I slide off of my too-tall horse which is surprising since he's never normally so considerate.

"Thanks." My voice is dry but he gets the message.

I think it's a meadow though I haven't seen one as beautiful as this around Camelot before. He led me off the beaten track - unsurprising since he must know the woods pretty well. This one has thick, lavish, dark grass. It glints in the sunlight in a way that reminds me of emeralds and sways in the gentle breeze. Flowers of fuchsia, snow white and summer yellows are dotted throughout the land, growing freely. A bright light in the distance makes me shield my eyes and it takes a while for them to adjust. When they do I realise the sun is reflecting off of a small lake (pond?), shining silver as it caresses the wild flower-strewn edge of the bank.

It's stunning, peaceful and... So not _Arthur_.

"Why are we here?" He's looking at the ground, avoiding my gaze. His voice is so soft when he answers that I strain to hear him.

"This is where I come when things get too much for me." I nod even though he can't see me because I understand. Occasionally he disappears, needing space, especially when he's in a foul mood. This generally coincides with a tournament, or an Uther related argument. Any time the pressure of being crowned prince gets too much really. But he obviously always comes back. I feel a rush of gratitude towards both Arthur and this place. He'd probably tear my head off if he didn't get away once in a while and now he's sharing this very private place with _me_.

But why?

I don't have to wait too long to find out.

"You're too much for me Merlin." His eyes are now fixed on mine with intensity almost as startling as his quiet words.

I splutter, unsure of what to say. "What do you mean?"

Lame.

He moves closer until we are face to face. Not good. Too close.

"Are we having a picnic? Or did you come here to bump me off or something? Ha ha ha I hope not!" I gabble, thinking 'shut up!' after every word and really wishing that I could.

"Shut up Merlin," he says, echoing my thoughts. There's a glint of amusement in his eyes but I know he means it.

"Okay..."

"It's just, I'm trying to tell you something and..." He sighs, turning red for some reason. Twice in one morning. Wow! I feel glimmers of hope bloom inside.

"What do you want to tell me Arthur?" I ask softly, trying not to push him but perversely enjoying our role reversal. Is that wrong? I like not being the awkward one for once is all. Don't judge.

The next thing he says sends all prattish thoughts like that right out of my head anyway.

"I'm starting to remember."

"Remember what?" It tumbles out stupidly though I know what he means of course. I guess it's because I've wanted to hear that for so long that it's hard to believe. I have to keep clam. It can't be what I think it is.

"Merlin!" He wails sounding exasperated and takes both my hands in his. "I've been dreaming about you. And us." He pulls me closer. "Tell me I'm not going mad."

"That would depend on the dreams." I reply numbly, eyes fixed on his. They have these flecks of green around the iris that come out in direct light. Huh. Funny the things you notice when your world's being turned upside down and your heart's pounding so hard and you're worried because your hands are starting to sweat and your mind and heart is racing and...

"Then I must be mad because in these dreams you've got _magic_." One of his hands slide up my arm and I hardly notice this good sign because I'm so scared that he's about to get angry because he _knows_. "And in these dreams, you do nothing except try to save me with it." His hand rests on my forearm, making it tingle. "And in this dream _you_, Merlin, my idiot_, _actually saves my life."

"Not true," I whisper, feeling giddy. "You saved me in the forest."

He shakes his head; "But you did. When you reminded me I was still alive." He places his other hand over my heart and smiles shyly. It's an unfamiliar expression on his face and is full of simple nervous hope. My heart does a somersault as he makes me feel weak but so ridiculously happy. In his own sarcastic Arthur way he's told me everything I ever wanted to hear. His gentle acceptance that I missed so much. It seems like to much to hope for.

"Are you saying you're okay with everything...?" My voice trails off and face floods with colour as I remember all the other things he must remember. In his room... In _my _room. Oh God!

His eyes glint wickedly. "I love it when you blush like a fool." He place a palm against my cheek and my eyes close briefly. But then he adds in a rush, "But not because of your blood!"

I let out a nervous snort of laughter. "You out grew your blood-lust, serial-smeller stage then? Good."

Now it's his turn to blush. "Merlin!" He growls apprehensively. "If you _ever _tell anyone about that..."

"You'll what?" I tease as cheekily as I dare. Which is quite a lot really.

"Then I'll tell everyone about _this_." He threatens before pulling my face to his and placing his lips on mine. I sigh and almost laugh into the kiss as his lips move against mine, so soft and maddeningly wet. His hands are in my hair, stroking softly, body pressed against mine in a way that drives me crazy. I wind my arms around his neck and pull him closer. He's just taller than me and eagerly closes the distance, hands suddenly gripping my hips so we are moulded together. I gasp and he uses this as a chance to deepen the kiss but I don't mind. It's not crazy-rough like before. He's treating me like I'm delicate and I can feel how he's barely restraining himself by the way his hands clench against my skin. This makes me feel incredible. I'm worth protecting. I can make him feel this way.

Best kiss ever? Oh yes, though I won't let _him _know that. He doesn't need to get any more arrogant thank you very much.

"Hmm," I murmur appreciatively when we resurface for air. "I think you'll come off worse to be honest."

He laughs wrapping his arms tight around me and I never want this day to end. I don't want the rest of the world to interfere or break us apart. Today it's just Arthur and me. That's all I need as we sink to the ground and the world fades away. All that matters is Arthur: his heart, his scent, our shared breath.

His skin is golden in the sunlight and I cover it with kisses along the faint scar across his neck as we lie side by side. He moans slightly and I try not to spoil the moment by laughing. It's not that I think this is funny, I'm just so happy. And an idiot of course and... Well, I can hardly believe this is real.

We break away a little so we are lying face to face, inches apart. He has pollen in his hair that I gently sweep away as we get our breath back, though I don't want to recover in the slightest. Why would I ever want to feel normal again? It's better than magic, kissing Arthur. I didn't expect it to feel so good. When he was infected, he made me feel like I was on fire. But now it's really him, it's like the very foundations of me are changing, like the movement of the Earth.

His eyes are heavily lidded as he studies me thoroughly.

"Do I have something on my face?" I'm surprised by how husky my voice sounds.

His eyes sparkle and darken, "Not yet..." His voice is deep and trails off mysteriously. Before I can ask him what he means he's kissing me again and I have my answer. This time I _do _laugh.

"What?" He's all high pitched now, and looking peeved.

"You meant I'd soon have a crowned prince on my face?"

He rolls his eyes and traces my bottom lip with his thumb making me shiver.

"My mental, magical Merlin. I can hardly believe it." Well that's random... But he did say I was _his_. I grin despite the insult.

"Would you believe me if I told you we've had this conversation before?"

"I remember." His hand trails down my neck and he's causing goosebumps despite the heat. "But I didn't get to say I will always protect your secret. You know that right?"

I am visibly moved by this and have to swallow hard. "Of course Arthur."

"But there must be no more secrets yes?" He adds sternly, taking my hand in his.

I narrow my eyes in scepticism and he gets my meaning straight away and grins guiltily. "Okay apart from the obvious one." He gestures between me and him and I nod in agreement, thrilled that there's actually a me-and-him to be secretive about. Though that's quite upsetting when you think about it. No one can ever know about us. They won't understand or let us be.

The absolute truth - the hard pill to swallow here - is that he _will _be King one day. He'll need to marry. He'll need an heir. And I'm not sure where I'll fit in when that happens. It will kill me, but I know I'll never abandon him. There's no choice about it. I'll always be there for him if he needs me, even if I have to stay in the shadows. Even if I can only love him as a subject loves his King. Even if I have to see him grow old with someone else. I think that as long as he _is _growing old, that's all that really matters. We can't do something daft and run away as much as I want to suggest it. I know he does too, I can feel it. I see it in every meaningful look he gives me as we lie together. We have a destiny to fulfil. It has to be enough. But for now...

He's holding my hand and looking at me with something that's a lot like love - maybe even _is _love. It's hard to think that there's anything in this world that is more important than that. How can there be, when he's holding my hand?

I shut my eyes so he can't see the tears.

I take a deep breath and finally reply to his question. "In that case Arthur, I need to tell you something. It's about destiny and it starts with a prat, an idiot and a dragon..."


End file.
